today started off on a bad note:

"you went to sleep so early last night...i don't understand how you're tired."

seriously? i always wake up tired. same shit, different day. i'm sure eight and a half hours of sleep is sufficient for the average person, but definitely not for me-- especially when i'm waking up three times a night. 

i swear, this isn't even a subject i should have to speak about!

i've been flaring this week, just in time for my rheumatology appointment with krishnamurthy this evening. what fun..

newburgh: day one.

so i'm here in newburgh, watching dance moms online, in the house alone. i twisted my whole head because i'm so bored. my brother's at work in the city, my sister in-law and niece are at the grocery store stocking up on goodies and water, my nephew's at football practice, and my brother's mom is somewhere in the area with her friend.

my mom called this morning. she's definitely not coming home tomorrow. the airports are shut down until further notice. i'm stressed and worried. my dad's not doing too good, either. my mom told me he's light-headed and his balance is off because he's so worried about me.

i'm exhausted; i didn't sleep very well. the springs in the mattress in the sofa bed were annoying me. my hands have been swollen since last night. my head's starting to hurt a little. the brain fog is killing me, and i'm not even doing much. 

i'm not supposed to nap, but i'm about to lay back down.

a random ramble..

all my tests came back normal! stool, sonograms, pap smears, blood: all good! no chrons! no weird shit in my ovaries! no stds! no lupus! so these random pains are just because, i guess..

i'm experiencing cramps for the first time in about five years. i wasn't on birth control last month because i had to get a new prescription, so now the cramps are ridiculous-- so ridiculous, i wore sweats to work yesterday.

i stayed home today. i need a personal day, because i really feel like i've been running myself ragged. i probably used up all of my paid sick days and personal time, so i'll just have to take it as a loss.

my parents are in barbados, where my dad's originally from. my mom flew down with him because he's too sick to travel alone-- he was diagnosed with parkinson's back in 2004-- so i'm home alone. with this damn hurricane coming. irene better act right and not flood my damn house. 


so i'm staying home this weekend. in my parent's bed. i may go to dinner tonight with darrel.

my hand's starting to swell as i'm typing, and i need to make an attempt at this logo for my etsy store, so later days..

random update.

forgive my absence, once again. things are crazy, as i am trying to keep myself somewhat busy and not so engulfed in this jail we call fibromyalgia.

super duper quick post before bed:

• saturday i went to lunch with my natural hair girls. i needed that. lots of good laughs. we went to coffee shop in union square; i love their herb fries!
• i started making bracelets. they're just cute little trinkets to keep me amused and entertained. i'm still debating if to sell them, since i tend to get aggravated when i have to depend on a hobby for a profit or income.
• today we had a little earthquake; it was more of an after shock. i didn't feel it in my office, but other buildings on the street did and they evacuated. cell service was down for a while, so i had a hard time getting in contact with my parents, darrel, or my family in virginia where the quake hit, but everyone's accounted for, and no one was injured.
• my tattoo's itching. horribly. i've never had a tat itch so much. but it's healing.
• tomorrow's another doctors appointment. i hope he doesn't agree with this whole sleep apnea theory.

that's about it. i'm watching whites on hulu until i knock out.

the big reveal..

so i got a new tattoo!

back on august7th, i posted this pic:

well my darling alex asked me about it, and after explaining it, i decided it would be a great tattoo. it would be a great reminder that no matter how bad my day is going or how much pain i'm in. i need to stay strong.

my little cousin chanica works at greene avenue tattoo in bed stuy. after work yesterday, i met up with a few of them and we all went.

she was happy to call herself my support system for that moment.

white boy did i great job! he was very talkative, which helped me relax a lot more.

the pain was definitely not as bad as i thought it would be. the pd tulip on my back hurt a hell of a lot more!

and it's done! thanks white boy! i'll be back soon =]

pics from the natural hair meet up last weekend with alex!

here's a sneak peek!!

here's a hint: i posted about it once before!

more details coming soon!